I was adopted and my mom is white. My mom just said that my niece needs to start acting like a white girl because she acts too much like the hood. My mom says some of the most racist shit and I never said anything until recently and I don’t even know why? The result of being raised in such a way was me hating black people for the longest time. Its disappointing because my whole family is racist. And people wonder why family isn’t that important to me.
After threats against her life, Anita Sarkeesian canceled an upcoming talk at Utah State University. Gamergate trolls are celebrating on Twitter while simultaneously dismissing the threats as nothing. Does this read like nothing to you?“I will write my manifesto in her spilled blood, and you will all bear witness to what feminist lies and poison have done to the men of America.”
The email’s author threatened to murder feminist women indiscriminately in a mass shooting. And because carrying guns on campus outweigh the right of students and guests to be safe, Anita Sarkeesian canceled her talk.
BUT WE SHOULDN’T FEEL THREATENED, RIGHT?
BECAUSE IT’S JUST THE INTERNET, RIGHT?
The bullies won this time. And if you think this shit isn’t dangerous, I’m fresh out of fucks to give and I’m not restocking any time soon. It’s goddamn wrong to to dismiss this by claiming the author isn’t serious. Elliot Rodger’s rantings were dismissed until it was too late.
This. Is. Not. OK.
That comment on how videogames don’t cause school shootings?
Well, now. See that? That’s over 15 years work, of advocacy, ruined.
Everything gaming advocacy tried to assert, that videogames were art, that violence can be separated from the medium… all now rings hollow.
How does it feel to know that this may very well be #gamergate’s most lasting and bitter fruit?
I am a white gay dad of two African-American kids as well, and I can surely relate to the feelings of these men in an intimate way. But, honestly, I am taken aback by the commercial, and not only because André and Jonathan are selling an intimate story of a life-changing personal event to a corporation to promote a breakfast product but because, more problematically, the commercial completely glosses over of the more profound dimensions of adoption. Adoption is often rooted in dark social situations and debilitating personal circumstances: poverty, racism, mental and physical illness, restrictive social mores and so forth. There is a reason that the men’s child is black, and it’s connected with how our society deals with issues in communities of color, here and abroad.
The commercial — and we must remember that it is a commercial, not a mini-documentary — spends just one short moment communicating some awareness of the other party in adoption, the first family, when one of the men speaks about the “risk she [the child] can go back in her biological family,” referring to the days or weeks after the adoption in which the biological mother is legally allowed to change her mind. The men immediately follow the acknowledgment of that “risk” with an expression of relief that that didn’t happen, saying, rather inarticulately, “Now she is really cool. She has love. She has confidence.” The reference to the first family is in fact not about that family but about the fears of the adoptive parents.
I wish this commercial were an isolated incident, but many representations of infant adoptions in gay and mainstream media are just as one-sided. There is a happy website, Gays With Kids, which shows mainly good adoptive-parent news stories. The LGBT advocacy organization Family Equality Council has the slogan “Love. Justice. Family. Equality,” but it appears that they’re only concerned about justice and equality for adoptive families and not for first families. The larger LGBT organization Human Rights Campaign has on its website a blog post titled “8 Questions to Ask Before Starting the Adoption Process" that doesn’t include any consideration of where these adoptable kids actually come from.
As a gay father, I find it hard to understand why a highly successful social movement, one rooted in social activism and focused on real change, is just as conservative as the rest of our mainly straight society where adoption is concerned. It seems that many gay men, like many straight couples and single parents, don’t want to see the bigger picture of adoption, a picture in which the first parents are seriously represented, their plight and perspectives acknowledged and regarded as prompts for social activism. Adopting a black child like André and Jonathan have done comes with an obligation to the family and the community of which the child was and still is a part. How to fulfill that obligation is a personal choice, but in my view, lying back and enjoying “normal” family life is not an option. I never regarded being gay as “normal,” and I don’t regard my “gay fatherhood” as “normal” either.
The little cheerio that floats in a bowl of milk to two already-together cheerios is a false image of adoption — and of human relationships, for that matter — since no person is ever an island. Every adopted child is connected to a multitude of others who are in fact visible outside the constructed world of a touching and brilliantly made if frustrating commercial.
Well as it relates to being normal, i think the commercial is showing what everything should be and what we should fight for, but the part where he talks about the impact it will have on the first family and where the child comes from has me confused. I was under the impression that when children are put up for adoption it is either because their birth parent(s) are incapable of caring for them or they don’t have anyone to care for them and giving up all rights to them (thus being adopted by a loving family is better than not) and well the second part just plain out confuses me. Does he mean child trafficking or something? Or am I just misunderstanding the whole thing?
Might I direct you to Shattered Bonds: The Color of Child Welfare, @bastardplanet and the The Donaldson Adoption Institute. Read some of the reports Native and Black organizations are putting out about the fostercare and adoption systems. Read about the Evangelical adoption crusade. Read about “rehoming” and “rebirthing.”
The adoption system is wicked racist, ableist, classist and imperialist and it would really behoove white queer people to look at the system they’re fighting for the right to participate in. There is a shit load of straight up child trafficking in adoption and that’s not getting into the coercive elements of the system. Adoption is an industry and that absolutely must change.
It is really not as simple as teenage girls who don’t want to be mothers finding nice white families for their babies, or abusive parents having their children removed. And just to head this off at the pass, no one wants to see children stay in abusive situations or institutions. No one wants to force a parent to keep an unwanted child.
For context I’m speaking as transracial adoptee, although my parents are straight, I’m not. I was a “voluntary” relinquishment.
Huh. Didn’t expect that. Although I still keep seeing it as better to adopt a kid than have my own if I ever want any. Why can’t things just be as simple as they look?
When an actual transracial adoptee like @dangercupcakemurdericing takes the time to politely inform you at length that the entire adoption system is racist, ableist, classist, and imperialist, and the only complaint you have about a grossly oppressive child trafficking industry is "why can’t things just as be as simply as they look," then there’s something wrong with you.
Of course selfish bio spawn always maintain that adoption is “better” even when confronted with its oppressive reality. That’s because you’re willfully ignorant and only care about yourself, it’s clear you have no awareness or genuine concern for actual adoptees, much less our birth families. You would not make a good adoptive parent.
I meant why do people have to hurt other people for money? You know why can’t we just love each other?
And I already know I’ll make a terrible parent. :)
lol then shut the fuck up with your worthless adoptoraptor opinions and keep your derailing kumbaya bs to yourself. :) ^_^ ｡◕‿◕｡
Click here to watch Jessica Williams talk to a group of women about street harassment on The Daily Show.Jessica Williams needs her own show.
Because cismen are pieces of shit…
Jessica Williams for president
This is terrifying.
this is so fucking disgusting smh
My god I have never seen something so terrifying in my entire life
this is what Black people have to fear from the police everyday. This was over a seatbeat and the driver was on her way to see her dying mother in the hospital and there were children in the car.